cant forget it, wont forget it.

" Its that simple feeling, just one feeling, where you feel as if youre on top of the world. but there would always be that other feeling
where you feel like you got in the way. Yeah .. i had that, and i think i still do.. no matter how hard i try to get over it, it wont go away. Cant forget it, wont forget it "

I know you dont check up on this anymore and yeah, i do act as if everythings fine. But i just gotta say:

Honestly, i feel as if I got in the way. Yeah, i never felt like this at first until i had found out what went down after canada day when WE were seeing, until she had told me what was going on. You dont how hurt i was, how betrayed, how much i cried. When i called you to confront you and ask if it was true, i was so angry at myself for thinking that it wouldve worked out. Cant blame anything, its going so well now. But what ive been feeling for awhile. I still feel paranoid. Thinking that since it happened then, why cant it happen now right? Cant say now, but cant say never i dont, its just me i guess. I just still feel shitty about it, i still do. Im sorry if it feels as if im faking my feelings around you. Im not, im like totally inlove with you. It just hurts to know that, you played me.. that you lied to me, that you were basically calling me a rebound.. Im not saying that i regret giving you a chance, trust me, im hellla happy that i gave you another shot. I just still carry around that feeling. That type of whole triangle drama just hasn't happened to me before. I just really hope and pray that there wont be any repeats. I just, still get the feeling that youre still into her.